As a female I have always struggled with feeling like I am not loved. Whether that is from my husband, kids, family, or friends. I can honestly say I have struggled with each of those areas at one point in my life. More than that though I have struggled to love. In all of those areas once again. I struggle to love my husband when he's not "lovable." I have struggled to love my kiddos when they act up and drive me crazy. I have struggled to love family whenever things get rough. I have struggled to love my friends when I don't feel like they have fulfilled the role of a friend. None of which are biblical. I am called to love!
Honestly I think women are other women's worst critic. We're so easy to judge, ignore, and push away friends who aren't good friends to us. Once again not biblical. And I am the world's worst at this. I shut down and push away people who have offended or hurt me. Who I feel like criticize my family, the way I dress, or what I do. I talk bad about those people or have negative thoughts about them. God is continually working in my life in this way. He's showing me that I need to have GRACE and LOVE for others. I never know what others are dealing with personally. Instead of getting upset or mad I should take a second BREATHE and pray through it. What is God calling me to do? Love them through it even when it's hard, serve them regardless of what I am dealing with or going through, or just be there for them.
WOMEN STRUGGLE AT THIS! We are so selfish. We think only about our emotions and our needs and not what others could need. Isn't that the opposite of the gospel? God came to serve not to be served. He loved regardless of all we've done against him. HE IS LOVE! I want Him to change that in my life. I want to love other women and serve them. Not judge. Pray with me that the Lord can change our hearts so that we can love others regardless of race, economic status, outward appearance, etc. God wants to reveal himself through us to show the world there is HOPE.
1 John 3:11-18
For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. We should not be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother's righteous. Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you. We know that we have passed out death into life, because we love the brothers. Whoever does not loved abides in death. Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.
AMEN!
Monday, April 7, 2014
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Remember Your Sins
Sin.
Something that everyone except Jesus has committed. In fact from a very early age! I notice it often in my 20 month old. She throws fits and says no! With much anger. She gets upset when her toys get messed up! With much anger. She kicks me when I change her diaper. With much anger.
This morning it occurred to me that there is probably three types of people when it comes to sin:
1: The person who sins, feels extremely guilty, and turns away from God. They stay away from God until their guilt is gone and then they draw back to God. Guilt is such a funny thing. I think I feel "guilty" often because I am living a faith in which what I do is what makes me feel accepted by God so when I don't "meet his standards," I feel guilty. That's not the gospel. We are not accepted by the things we do, only by Jesus.
2. The person who thinks "I didn't sin today." I can honestly say I have thought that numerous times. Or I have also gone to pray to Jesus and had nothing to repent of. I think growing up in church I focused and heard all the things that were sin that I shouldn't do. Don't get drunk, don't cheat, lie, steal, cuss, be unkind, or disobedient to your parents. I often thought I don't do any of those. Or I "worked" really hard not to. I didn't realize the actual ugliness I had in my heart. I covet, a lot actually. Right now its a battle to not covet those that have their own home. I am trying to trust my Jesus daily with that. It's hard. I am a lazy mom. Not a servant, or sacrificial. Short tempered. I AM sinful!
3. As Joe Thorn writes in "Note To Self," a person who "remembers their sins, learns humility, loves Jesus, and makes much of the gospel." That's who I want to be. A person who knows I sin, remembers them, repents, learns that Jesus is all that I have and all that will suffice. When I am able to rest in Jesus and that HE is my justification I can make much of the gospel!
The gospel is just good.
"I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord," and you forgave the iniquity of my sin." Psalm 32:5
Something that everyone except Jesus has committed. In fact from a very early age! I notice it often in my 20 month old. She throws fits and says no! With much anger. She gets upset when her toys get messed up! With much anger. She kicks me when I change her diaper. With much anger.
This morning it occurred to me that there is probably three types of people when it comes to sin:
1: The person who sins, feels extremely guilty, and turns away from God. They stay away from God until their guilt is gone and then they draw back to God. Guilt is such a funny thing. I think I feel "guilty" often because I am living a faith in which what I do is what makes me feel accepted by God so when I don't "meet his standards," I feel guilty. That's not the gospel. We are not accepted by the things we do, only by Jesus.
2. The person who thinks "I didn't sin today." I can honestly say I have thought that numerous times. Or I have also gone to pray to Jesus and had nothing to repent of. I think growing up in church I focused and heard all the things that were sin that I shouldn't do. Don't get drunk, don't cheat, lie, steal, cuss, be unkind, or disobedient to your parents. I often thought I don't do any of those. Or I "worked" really hard not to. I didn't realize the actual ugliness I had in my heart. I covet, a lot actually. Right now its a battle to not covet those that have their own home. I am trying to trust my Jesus daily with that. It's hard. I am a lazy mom. Not a servant, or sacrificial. Short tempered. I AM sinful!
3. As Joe Thorn writes in "Note To Self," a person who "remembers their sins, learns humility, loves Jesus, and makes much of the gospel." That's who I want to be. A person who knows I sin, remembers them, repents, learns that Jesus is all that I have and all that will suffice. When I am able to rest in Jesus and that HE is my justification I can make much of the gospel!
The gospel is just good.
"I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord," and you forgave the iniquity of my sin." Psalm 32:5
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
The Better Me
So its funny to look back and realize its been ohh about 4 years since I have written a blog. Basically in 4 years I have gotten engaged, married, had not one baby but two babies. Wow so much can happen in 4 years its kinda crazy! I feel so blessed! I have an amazing husband who loves the Lord and others well, 2 beautiful and healthy babies (Ellie is 20 months and Silas is 8 weeks old tomorrow!), a great church, and amazing friends. So thankful for all God has given me!
For about 3 weeks or so I kept feeling like I needed to blog again. The Lord has been doing so much in our lives and I want to share with others in hopes that maybe something I say will stir someone's affections towards Jesus. I just want to start by saying in no way do I think I am super smart, creative, or have it all together. In fact I am super disorganized, totally ADD, and just a normal wear your jammies all day kinda mama. So on to what I felt like I needed to share today.
My hubby, sister-in-law, cousin-in-law, father-in-law and I all went to the Linger conference here in Dallas. http://www.lingerconference.com I was so blessed by all the speakers and worship. Matt Chandler was the speaker on Friday night and one of the first things he said spoke straight to my heart. He said "trying to be the better you will enslave you to fear." In fact we should be living in the freedom we have in Christ! I was convicted that I do that more than I would like to admit. I feel as though I am constantly trying to be a better me. A better mom, homemaker, wife, friend, CHRISTIAN. I would live these things out in my flesh daily, not through Christ, and I would fail. What's so freeing about the GOSPEL is that as a believer we don't have to "try." We are loved and accepted through the blood of Jesus, that's it and that's all. Not my efforts to have better kids or love my husband just right or be involved in everything at church. While all those things are important it's not FREEING because I wasn't doing it with Christ and relying on all the things the Bible says about me! In fact I didn't even want to start blogging again because I was living in "fear" of what others thought about me and whether it would be "good enough." So this is a step in living in freedom and being the woman that God created me to be!
Well that's it for today, babies are awake :) praying God gives freedom to all those that are just like me and living in the fear of man!
For about 3 weeks or so I kept feeling like I needed to blog again. The Lord has been doing so much in our lives and I want to share with others in hopes that maybe something I say will stir someone's affections towards Jesus. I just want to start by saying in no way do I think I am super smart, creative, or have it all together. In fact I am super disorganized, totally ADD, and just a normal wear your jammies all day kinda mama. So on to what I felt like I needed to share today.
My hubby, sister-in-law, cousin-in-law, father-in-law and I all went to the Linger conference here in Dallas. http://www.lingerconference.com I was so blessed by all the speakers and worship. Matt Chandler was the speaker on Friday night and one of the first things he said spoke straight to my heart. He said "trying to be the better you will enslave you to fear." In fact we should be living in the freedom we have in Christ! I was convicted that I do that more than I would like to admit. I feel as though I am constantly trying to be a better me. A better mom, homemaker, wife, friend, CHRISTIAN. I would live these things out in my flesh daily, not through Christ, and I would fail. What's so freeing about the GOSPEL is that as a believer we don't have to "try." We are loved and accepted through the blood of Jesus, that's it and that's all. Not my efforts to have better kids or love my husband just right or be involved in everything at church. While all those things are important it's not FREEING because I wasn't doing it with Christ and relying on all the things the Bible says about me! In fact I didn't even want to start blogging again because I was living in "fear" of what others thought about me and whether it would be "good enough." So this is a step in living in freedom and being the woman that God created me to be!
Well that's it for today, babies are awake :) praying God gives freedom to all those that are just like me and living in the fear of man!
Psalm 118:6
Amplified Bible (AMP)
6 The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?
Monday, March 29, 2010
Heart. Soul. Mind.
So I am back to blogging again. I just realized that this was a way for me to express and share all that the Lord is doing in my life. Why hide it right??
2 Corinthians 4:6 (Amplified Bible)
6For God Who said, Let light shine out of darkness, has shone in our hearts so as [to beam forth] the Light for the illumination of the knowledge of the majesty and glory of God [as it is manifest in the Person and is revealed] in the face of Jesus Christ (the Messiah).
Now the last thing I want to do is give anyone the impression that I am writing because I think I know it all or that I totally have this Christian life down. It couldn't be any further from the truth. I am a work in progress and only by God's grace do I walk through this daily life satisfied, loved, and changed. So all that being said, this Wednesday I am talking to our students at Studio 412 about something that the Lord has laid on my heart for awhile now. I am talking about one of the most amazing words given in our dictionary: LOVE....
Working in a church for about 3 years now I have seen quite an array of different students at different points in their walks with the Lord. One common ground is that we all are living in the so called "Bible belt." Where the gospel and "Christianity" are fairly easy to find, and well for the most part people say they live by.
I wanna take you back about 8 years ago to a very loud, outgoing, Christian young girl that received everything she thought she wanted. She moved schools second semester of her junior year by choice to a school where she would be popular, liked by the boys, and given attention to everywhere she went. She went from secure in the Lord to secure in herself almost overnight. Now you may be asking well what did all that do to the girl, well it pushed her to move away from her first love and into falling more in love with herself. Okay I know you probably guessed it but yes that was me. I was a Christian but the only reason I did what I was suppose to do at times was because that's what I always did and knew I was always suppose to do. Church Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings, Bible studies during the week, and mentoring younger girls. I knew how to do it all, and pretty well. Then one day after graduating high school and going to Oklahoma Baptist University, it hit me. I had completely put my love for God aside. I knew deep down I loved him but my motivation for everything I did was for myself. God at that moment began to shape and renew my heart back to His, so that I could continue on this journey to love Him with all my heart, soul, and mind.
I think a lot of Christian kids go through this stage. Now it may look different for different people but to some extent I think most teenagers fall into the "DO" trap. They "do" Bible studies, church during the week, mentor younger students, attend all events, hangout and date the "right" people, and strive to love and serve people the best they can. (Don't get me wrong all of these are great things but if that's our sole purpose in our Christian life we've lost it.) Meanwhile each of them forgetting that their first commandment given to them by the Lord is:
Matthew 22:37
Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'
That is something that the Lord has truly impressed upon my own heart and now I believe to share with the hearts of these teenagers on Wednesday. I wonder how different church and our communities would look if the first thing we did was to Love the Lord with all heart, soul, and mind. I am praying and ask that you pray too that Jesus would work in their hearts in a big way on Wednesday as I share with them my heart. Praying the Holy Spirit does His thing and that Jesus' light would bring much glory to our God.
Praying for His work to be done!
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